Maren Morris & Julia Michaels - cut! (Official Lyric Video)

The round table

Twenty months ago, I packed up my things, rented an apartment online without seeing it and took up the challenge to be Manager of a pediatric ABA therapy center. I was leaving a clinic as an Assistant Manager with 51 clients, so running a center with only two clients and a handful of employees would be easy for sure, right?  Growing a center from the ground up has been more of a challenge than I thought it would be both personal and professionally. To hire, to fire, to earn respect, to take hard feedback, to give hard feedback, and to navigate it alone for much of the time in a big new city! 

Monday we will welcome our 25th family. To put that in perspective a year ago we had only eight clients.  Our center has a pulse a heartbeat, it is growing, and the leadership team that helps me empower kiddos and RBTs are every bit as wonderful as the ones I said good-bye to in Indiana.  

There are parts of my personal life that are in shambles because of this move to Tennessee. But most days it is hard to stay sad when I get to wake up in such a beautiful place, and bonus I have such a gift in doing work that truly matters!  I love what I do! I am so proud of our center! I'm so proud of my RBTs. While this move has torn apart my home, I know that my family also supported me moving because it was absolutely the right thing to do. 

Recently I moved a round table into my office. My leadership staff are in and out seated at that table throughout the day! We work, we laugh, we vent, consume caffeine and junk food. Sometimes we talk and sometimes we work in silence. We solve problems and come up with all the solutions. We have a closing schedule, so no one has to stay till 5:30 every evening, but more often than not we are still found seated together at the table long after our last client has gone home. 

My girls apologize for being there and tell me I can throw them out any time. What they don't understand is that them being there was always what I wanted. It is a safe place to show up with no judgement or criticisms. We can say hard things when we need too and lean into one another for support. We are learning and growing, evolving, giving hope, contributing and all around awesome, just like our companies' cornerstones! 

That table represents the calling that I followed to Tennessee. I left behind stability and time with my family to take this charge. The guest that show up at the table in my office make me so profoundly proud. These women are amazing, they change little lives for the better and pour into our staff with such passion! I thank God for them every single day! Panic attacks, blood (no sweat - it's cold in our center) and actual tears created a culture of perseverance and passion to change the lives of anyone that walks into our Center. 

To my dream team, come to the best table just outside of Nashville and never leave. Hang out there all day! Your presence there fills up my soul with gratitude and joy! You girls keep me accountable and make what we have built together something to be coveted and respected. The employees wishing to work for us, the families trying to enroll their children are such proof. As my newly hired Center Coordinator stated, it feels like home! 

David Gray - Flame Turns Blue (live at Zermatt Unplugged)

Billy Joel - Turn the Lights Back On (Official Video)

Jack

This dog has faithfully followed me anywhere I would let him for seventeen years.  I wanted him for the kids.  Turns out he's more my dog.

It is not just the end of him, but the end of an era.  He holds the memories of my children and of our home. 

I have kept all his secrets, and he has in turn kept all of mine.  

His decline, it has been steady over the last months... usually after a few bad days he will perk up, but the perk ups are fewer and father between.  I keep thinking of Tommy Shelby in the Peaky Blinders who had to put his horse down and his kids were so upset with him.  "Sometimes death is a kindness." he replied to them, and now I know this is truth.