Tuesday, July 7, 2015

#17 Blessing Good Grief

Grief has the power to make you or break you...it asks you what you are made of.

"If you hold back on the emotions - if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely."
-Mitch Albom, Tuesday's with Morrie

"I give myself a good cry if I need it, but then I concentrate on all the good things still in my life."
-Mitch Albom, Tuesday's with Morrie

"Turn that pain into power!"
- The Script

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
-Psalm 34:18

But above all, I wish you happiness, even though I am aware you require my absence to find it.
-Beau Taplin

How many times have I said to my own children "suck it up cupcake," there is no time to be sad! I try to follow my own instructions. I run from my grief, try to keep busy, ignore its nagging existence, push it back down, swallow it hard.

As if there is shame in answering honestly when someone ask you "What is wrong?" As if there is weakness in the shedding of tears. In fact it is just the opposite. Being real, authentic, and honest is the bravest and most healing thing we can do.

Still I fight to avoid this one emotion...but it grows and builds, this emotion reaching such voracity that it can no longer be denied. I get away to a hidden place; the quiet of my car, a lone road, a bike ride, the shower, a bathroom stall.

I no longer grieve alone, I grieve with God. Cast all your anxiety on the Lord, because He cares for you." 1Peter 5:7. Quiet, or bitter, or loud...it doesn't matter, the Lord takes it all.

Waves of grief, once I succumb to them my jagged edges are a little smoother. Red swollen eyes, and stuff nose the pressure released just a little more. And it is here that I can breath a little deeper. It is here that I find a small sliver of peace, a little resolve, a knowing that everything will be okay.
Everything will be okay in the end. If it is not okay it is not the end. -Fernado Sabino

Grief is a process, be brave enough to face it and the obstacles connected to it. Great love and beauty are birthed from it. No matter how tear blurred your vision may be clarity can be seen through it. If you just hang on, grief can be a blessing because it has the power to connect you to others, even strangers and the true you you were created to be.

I look forward to the day when I get to the other side of this sadness, but I do know one thing for certain that this grief has pushed me to be a better person, and that is a priceless and sacred blessing.

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