I placed my camera on a shelf in an attempt to disconnect myself from any image that might connect me with a painful time in our lives. I've held back on this blog. I've grieved, and I have grown. But I could not separate myself from my passion to see life through a lens. While I haven't taken as much time to capture the life of those most important to me, I changed and started taking photos for others. In return I find gratitude for the privileges that I have been given to capture life altering moments for others.
The places I can go, and the person I can become with my camera in hand has transformed me. It has the power to crumble fear and uncertainties within myself. It has a voice that can ask strangers if I can take their pictures, and make them feel beautiful at the same time. The "I do's" I capture, the beauty of nature, new babies, the art of building instance rapport with someone I have never encountered before. These are priceless gifts.
My camera has the power to ground me, and inspire me when everything else falls apart. When I am sad, stressed, anxious, worried, or frustrated I know that I can pick up my camera and experience the same euphoria as a few glasses of wine, or a prescribed pill. When you are focused on looking for beauty it centers your soul. When you see the big picture your perspective can alter your attitude for the better. When I feel alone, I can look through my lens and find something or someone to connect with.
My husband says "you haven't really changed!." and I think to myself "oh, I have." However, in all my growing, aging and breaking I can look back and remember when I was just Macey's age. I would spend my afternoons in solitude with only my bike and my 110 film camera. Those memories are a comfort to me now, because maybe I really haven't lost myself after all.
As a new year rolls in I am eager to announce that I am ready to tell our story in pictures again and breath life back into this blog. This girl, and her camera are back, and ready to take thing to a new level.
