Happy Quarantine Birthday!
For not being able to go anywhere this year, it still was a good day to celebrate you!
I hope you felt all the love that we hold for you.
Cheers to you!
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
Saturday, August 10, 2019
Thursday, May 30, 2019
Another graduation.....
Somewhere in a box of photos is more photos of Adam, Taylor and Gavin passing through the school phases with ease.
There are more photographs of school programs, plays, and marching band competitions.
Even more there are college graduations, and births of new babies... but my heart can't handle all of that tonight.
No one tells you the hardest part about becoming a parent... the letting go at all these milestone rites of passage.
You know it is a natural process that you are going to teach your child to leave and stand on their own.
And it is both blissful and heart wrenching at the exact same time.
The kids are fine! And they are thriving!
However my time with them is escaping me, and it is like losing air.
While I am thankful for one less Woodrow Wilson event. And while I know that it continues with our grand babies...
I've got at least one more graduation to get through...
Middle school is done! And where the hell did all that time go...
Oh my heart is so with you kids! A tear drop here for yet another tearing away to the person you are beautifully growing into. Your futures are so bright!
Adam, Taylor, Gavin and Macey
you make us so proud!
You are what we keep going for always!
Love Pops and Mimi
Sunday, March 10, 2019
Aspiring to be the Special Cooker
Cooking has never been my strong suite, so when Paul P showed up with all his culinary talents my world got 100 times better, actually I got spoiled! Of all the things he brought to the table, including his appliances... it was his cooking that mesmerized me and all of my family, as far away as Maine! Mamoo, and his grandma taught the Payne boys how to cook! I could hardly make mac and cheese from a box.
Something that is 2nd nature to him, is a struggle for me. When we started going out I could make a lasagna... it took hours, it dirtied all the dishes... and I made it for him once on one of our first dates. He ate it, had seconds, and even helped me clean up all the mess.
We use to joke, kind of, that if something happen to him... I would lose my shit in the grocery store. This was way more true than I wanted it to be! A few years back we found ourselves in a rut, living in two different house-holds in the same town. I would call him in the market...asking were to find certain ingredients, and wanting instruction on what some ingredients even were?
I still don't always like to cook... but on the same note I have found that there is something very therapeutic in following a recipe that turns out right and feeds ones soul and body! So many things in life that you have no control of... but at the stove/oven... you get to adjust and add all the ingredients.
Sometimes we cook together, and recently I find we are competing.
Happy couples are fatter!
Today I roasted my first chicken! Took three tries! He helped a little!
It was a good day!
Just waiting for Myrt to step up to the plate...
Game on..
Love that dinner is still an event in the Payne house.
xoxox Sunset Avenue
Something that is 2nd nature to him, is a struggle for me. When we started going out I could make a lasagna... it took hours, it dirtied all the dishes... and I made it for him once on one of our first dates. He ate it, had seconds, and even helped me clean up all the mess.
We use to joke, kind of, that if something happen to him... I would lose my shit in the grocery store. This was way more true than I wanted it to be! A few years back we found ourselves in a rut, living in two different house-holds in the same town. I would call him in the market...asking were to find certain ingredients, and wanting instruction on what some ingredients even were?
I still don't always like to cook... but on the same note I have found that there is something very therapeutic in following a recipe that turns out right and feeds ones soul and body! So many things in life that you have no control of... but at the stove/oven... you get to adjust and add all the ingredients.
Sometimes we cook together, and recently I find we are competing.
Happy couples are fatter!
Today I roasted my first chicken! Took three tries! He helped a little!
It was a good day!
Just waiting for Myrt to step up to the plate...
Game on..
Love that dinner is still an event in the Payne house.
xoxox Sunset Avenue
Monday, November 26, 2018
Pictures from Maine
The morning we buried my Nana. Many of us walked on the beach ... I felt her there and I still feel her now. Miss you Nana Barbara! We love you, miss you, and will carry you on!
Saturday, October 27, 2018
The Tale of my Tat
So I did a thing...(got a tattoo)
with one of my people... (Aunt Lynne)
in a place that is near and dear to the women I have grown into (Maine)
I would say that the story of this art work started 4 years ago. However in hindsight, four years ago was just the start of the hardest journey I have yet to endured in finding out what I am really made of. I think the story of this image started long before I had the ability to hold on to memories of the shore.
I was lucky to be the oldest grandchild, because I got to have my Nana and Grumps all to my very self. I got to enjoy them when they themselves were still young. I wrapped them around my little finger and they indulged me. I spent so much of my childhood on the cold shores of Maine. Sand was always in my hair, and the sun painted my skin. My Nana taught me her love for the ocean and all the treasures we could find washed up upon the shores. Sea glass, snails, smooth black rocks, shells... and our favorite find was the sand dollar. She would walk us down to the break water, where the sand would suck your feet right up past your ankles, and we would scan the water for them in between the waves.
She would find a special place for me to preserve them after we dried them out in the sunshine. My Nana was also very good at teaching me the art of preserving a memory. She made me keep a journal of our times spent together. Grumps would take the photos. She was always finding me souvenirs on all of our adventures. Ticket stubs, notes scribbled on receipts... she showed me the art of being nostalgic.
Recently she passed away, and I found myself back in her hometown. The last time I had seen her had been on Macey and mines epic journey to say goodbye to my grandfather. Four years ago I pulled out of their driveway for the last time. Four years ago, they were still both alive and together. Just like I was lucky to be their first, I was lucky to have that goodbye. I was lucky to have had my little girl with me to keep me strong. There is beauty in a goodbye when it is given in enormous love and gratitude!
On that same journey four years ago, my Aunt took me and Macey to the beach. My Aunt hates the sand, and only goes to the beach a handful of times a year. ( The beach is only a 20 minute drive from her home, so it just goes to show that someone life is another mans dream!) There on the shore we found a beautiful starfish. It was alive, and had all of its arms, and it moved so fast. In all my many trips the the beach, I had never marveled such a beauty. In the middle of the vast amount of chaos present in my personal life at the time, that starfish felt like a sign of something much bigger than me. It was my life moment! Everything was going to be okay! No matter what was happening there on the shores in Maine, or in our home in Indiana. My faith would be my anchor. Some journey's we have to take on our own, no matter whom we are tethered to. And I know now, that this was okay, and maybe even necessary so we can grow as individuals, and also grow stronger together.
I now carry my little world inked upon my left shoulder. It feels as if it has always been there. I look at it and and see so much symbolism. The three chains, my religion; the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. The pearls are the kids whom make my world! The cracked anchor is a little bit of everything; me, my faith, our marriage. I actually wish the anchor would have turned out better... but I even find irony in that as some of the bigger things in life are not what you had expected. Sometimes you need a crack to let the light in, so you can see things that you never noticed or appreciated before.
I know that not everyone is a fan of what I did, but as I round the bend of life and see that my time is most likely halfway up...I'm going to live life and do things for me. Life is an adventure, my Nana taught me that, and you can never have too many sea shells and sand dollars.
And most importantly there is beauty everywhere, there is love everywhere, you just have to have open eyes and an open mind to find it!
with one of my people... (Aunt Lynne)
in a place that is near and dear to the women I have grown into (Maine)
I would say that the story of this art work started 4 years ago. However in hindsight, four years ago was just the start of the hardest journey I have yet to endured in finding out what I am really made of. I think the story of this image started long before I had the ability to hold on to memories of the shore.
I was lucky to be the oldest grandchild, because I got to have my Nana and Grumps all to my very self. I got to enjoy them when they themselves were still young. I wrapped them around my little finger and they indulged me. I spent so much of my childhood on the cold shores of Maine. Sand was always in my hair, and the sun painted my skin. My Nana taught me her love for the ocean and all the treasures we could find washed up upon the shores. Sea glass, snails, smooth black rocks, shells... and our favorite find was the sand dollar. She would walk us down to the break water, where the sand would suck your feet right up past your ankles, and we would scan the water for them in between the waves.
She would find a special place for me to preserve them after we dried them out in the sunshine. My Nana was also very good at teaching me the art of preserving a memory. She made me keep a journal of our times spent together. Grumps would take the photos. She was always finding me souvenirs on all of our adventures. Ticket stubs, notes scribbled on receipts... she showed me the art of being nostalgic.
Recently she passed away, and I found myself back in her hometown. The last time I had seen her had been on Macey and mines epic journey to say goodbye to my grandfather. Four years ago I pulled out of their driveway for the last time. Four years ago, they were still both alive and together. Just like I was lucky to be their first, I was lucky to have that goodbye. I was lucky to have had my little girl with me to keep me strong. There is beauty in a goodbye when it is given in enormous love and gratitude!
On that same journey four years ago, my Aunt took me and Macey to the beach. My Aunt hates the sand, and only goes to the beach a handful of times a year. ( The beach is only a 20 minute drive from her home, so it just goes to show that someone life is another mans dream!) There on the shore we found a beautiful starfish. It was alive, and had all of its arms, and it moved so fast. In all my many trips the the beach, I had never marveled such a beauty. In the middle of the vast amount of chaos present in my personal life at the time, that starfish felt like a sign of something much bigger than me. It was my life moment! Everything was going to be okay! No matter what was happening there on the shores in Maine, or in our home in Indiana. My faith would be my anchor. Some journey's we have to take on our own, no matter whom we are tethered to. And I know now, that this was okay, and maybe even necessary so we can grow as individuals, and also grow stronger together.
I know that not everyone is a fan of what I did, but as I round the bend of life and see that my time is most likely halfway up...I'm going to live life and do things for me. Life is an adventure, my Nana taught me that, and you can never have too many sea shells and sand dollars.
And most importantly there is beauty everywhere, there is love everywhere, you just have to have open eyes and an open mind to find it!
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