Thursday, November 11, 2010

Mom You Worry Too Much!

Gavin is always on me about my worrying too much. I guess I kind of do this a lot, like just this week I have actually said these things to my kids (in a whisper, or horse kind of bellow).

Tie your shoes or you will trip and fall.

Pick up your room, or at least clear a path…if this house caught on fire in the middle of the night you would not make it out of here alive…you would trip and fall.

Lock the door behind me, or someone might come and take you kids. (Whoever it is I hope they are rich…have you noticed how much it cost to raise my kids?)

Put your coat on, or you will catch a cold.

Did you really just eat that off the floor? Don't eat that off the floor, that is gross. You will get sick!

Dry your hands after you wash them before you turn off the light or you will get electrocuted.

Use a towel when you get out of the shower…or you will slip and fall.

Turn the lights on when you read, it’s bad for your eyesight…you will go blind.

Don’t wave at passing cars…you might wave at a crazy person and they will follow us home.

Be careful when you empty the dishwasher. If the knives are pointing upward you might cut your hand and get an infection. (Ok, I confess, I didn't really say this. My kids don't put the dishes away. But I can fantasize that they do!)

Did you brush your teeth? Seriously, you need to brush them longer or all your teeth are going to rot out from all the Halloween candy you have been eating.

Don’t plug all your games into this one outlet…you are going to start a fire and then not be able to get out of your room because of your mess!

Did you wash your hands? You have to wash your hands or you will be sick.

Did you wash your hands after you touched the turtle shell…turtle shells carry disease ya know, and where is the turtle shell…? Did you leave it on the floor where someone can trip and fall over it?

Did you remember to turn off the lava lamp? It gets too hot and will start a fire.

Kids be careful when you go in the bathroom, my hot iron is on! I don't want you to get burned.

No more candy…it will make you sick!

Put your shoes on when you go outside or you will step on glass or something and cut yourself.

Where is your bike helmet…you need it when you ride, someone might hit you and you will die.

Stop banging on the glass door, do you want to put your hand through it and have to go to the hospital and get stitches?

Stop playing in the street, you might get hit by a car.

Don’t run with that stick you will fall and poke your eye out.

Don’t swallow all that tooth paste, it will poison you and make you sick.

Don't go into the woods without telling an adult, I don't want someone to take you.

Guess I can be pretty gloom and doom. But don’t all mothers do this? I hear this doesn't get much better as our children age. Sticks, turtles, helmets and toothpaste turn into cars, drugs, dates, and poor choices. But in writing this I guess I should chill out on my analogies. As my children do often fall down from unproper footwear or untied laces, there have been no fires as of yet, even when my daughter did put her floor lamp under her bed to find something while it was on. Maybe I should come up with some other consequence so my children will not grow up with a fear of falling or being in a fire.

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