Wednesday, November 24, 2010
I have tendency to romanticize my childhood traditions. However, if I let go of the romance and experience the tradition now as I am older with my own family…it’s just not the same as when I was younger and experiencing it with my sisters, mom and dad.
Because of this I have missed out. I had very unrealistic expectations on how we should celebrate the holidays, but we are not your typical family. We are a collective family with many combining families. We have the “yours, mine and ours.” Many holidays we would spend on the road carting one child to someone else’s grandma, or parent. Sometimes eating three or four meals in order to please everyone! It is exhausting, and not to mention hard on the digestion.
Now we just try to roll with the punches. Just because the calendar says it is Thanksgiving, or Christmas, doesn’t mean we all have to gather together on THAT specific day. So what, if it is what you use to do. So what, if someone doesn’t agree with you. So what, if it doesn’t follow tradition. Gather the ones that are important to you and pick any day, evening, or hour that works and celebrate that moment.
My kids are gone this Thanksgiving Day. All of them are celebrating with someone that is special to them. They are loved so much that they actually get fought over, and I don’t know if they realize just how lucky they are to be this loved. We have so many loved ones, connect to so many families that it would be impossible for all of us to gather under one roof.
I always wanted my kids to have a sense of tradition. I think I also placed too much tradition on the holidays. So if my Gavin was away, and Macey wanted to be with her special Aunt and Uncle I would spend the day brooding , focusing on what I didn’t have rather than what I did have…a blessed break!
Maybe our family doesn’t gather around a turkey every Thanksgiving. But I wouldn’t give up our nightly tradition as a family to gather around our dinner table, over great food (unless I am cooking) and discuss bodily functions and who got in trouble at school today. I would give up Thanksgiving, and Christmas and all the good things about the holidays and traditions to hang on to this single one forever.
Someday, my children will be grown and have children of their own. I can see my husband luring them all in with a beautiful bird and all the fixings in hopes of capturing what we currently live every day. But I also know that we will not just lure them on a few special days each year, but as frequently as we can.
So this holiday season I wish for you contentment at what you have, even if it is in solitude, or does not follow tradition. Celebrate you and your family’s uniqueness.